Flight of the Hummingbird - Day 151 – 9-5-2021 - On Knowing Myself

 

All my life I’ve been taught to think,

Other’s opinions are more important, then I had an instinct,

Nothing is clicking, nothing holds true,

When I listen to myself and hold my own view.

“Be careful with that, don’t think for yourself…”

“You many offend and make them angry.” Or else,

Maybe coming back home to me,

Has brought me to a place where I can see.

That strong and powerful woman inside,

With no need to run and hide,

She now understands her need to pursue,

“To thine own self”… I need to be true.

Just because I listen to myself in here,

Doesn’t mean I will lose from fear,

The fear of loss has always been big,

Sometimes it felt like my life was rigged.

They all told me I had to be like them,

If I were to be welcomed without contempt,

That I never really did fit in,

And they didn’t like that, I felt pain deep within.

That really affected me when I was young,

And continued through life, the words really stung,

Or the way people had turned their backs on me,

Because I didn’t know who I was, consistently.

It took me many years to find,

The deeper meaning of my design,

Of how I showed up on this planet,

I lived my life as a romantic.

But I couldn’t see what I need to,

And in that I needed to review,

The way my patterns kept me stuck,

And thinking I didn’t matter, I felt like a schmuck.

I am finding out all kinds of things now,

That the power inside is what I allow,

To come forth into the world, and then,

Not being concerned what “they” think, like I’m ten.

Here is the strength that I can show,

Something I knew down deep long ago,

But I did not trust myself to be me,

And turned my back on myself and stopped feeling free.

And now it is time to turn all that around,

I am now standing firmly on the ground,

I look out from me and know who I am,

And whether or not I’m liked… I don’t give a damn.