Flight Chronicles of the Hummingbird - Day 5 – 4/11/2021 - Peaking Out of My Cocoon

And now… things are moving forward. It’s so interesting to me that when I step out of my comfort zone, the Universe will conspire with my actions.

I witnessed and experienced some really powerful things yesterday and I am so grateful for it!

First of all, I am chronicling this journey because I have read about these things for years and for the first time I am really putting my all into this because I have finally learned to have faith in the process.

This faith is the most important part of it because if we don’t have that faith then nothing will work as we eventually begin to second guess ourselves. I am a big culprit of that. It has been a challenge, at best, throughout my life not to second guess or trust that things will work out such a positive way that I actually feel happy.

Some big things happened that brought some things together and I just watched it. All by stepping out yesterday to go to the music store to put myself back into a place of music. I told my story of walking away from music and then coming back. The coming back was such a whirlwind and little by little it fell away, mostly because of life circumstances again. Today, it brought me back to more grief I am walking through to let go of the sadness of it and bring back the happiness.

The biggest thing I witnessed as I stopped by one of the places that hires bands to play was a huge storm that blew in out of nowhere with no warning. A huge tree limb across the way next to one of the lakes, broke off and landed on someone car. I happened to be talking to the person who just happened to happy two beautiful golden retrievers.

So surreal was that, looking out at the blasting wind blowing anything and everything around that wasn’t tied down. It was the strangest moment and people were talking about how they had never seen anything like that before. Everything was complete chaos, similar to what my life had been and then after a time, it blew over as these things tend to do. Oddly, the sun did not come out afterwards as it was already leading into the evening and it got cold.

It was just a weird feeling. Like all of the crap I no longer needed had that one big opportunity to just get blown out of my life. And there I was standing at a brewery and I don’t even drink anymore. What is this?

So, I ended up leaving, meeting with my friend and her husband and they asked if I wanted to join them at another friend’s house that I know. That turned into yet another surreal moment as things I have been working on began to fall into potentiality as we talked about something things this new friend was bringing up. I am in awe.

Now to bring this around. Today is an 11 day. 11 days have always been Gateway days for me. What I mean by that is the veil between the worlds is thinner (like on Halloween) and things move more readily, and things come together or are released. Maybe I invented it; maybe not, but I have always experienced it going on way or the other. Can’t explain it.

What I can say is that I am able to see how things are beginning to fit together and come together. I know I’m not totally ready yet; there is still more healing work to be done, however, I know I am close to something big. I can feel it.

 

Day 5 (Part 2)

It’s been a long day. I’m really exhausted. Feeling like there is a lot of physical and emotional healing going on right now. At least that’s what I think. I’m feeling very run down and tired and just took a nap for a while and still feel that way. It feels like there is something going on and I’ve been pretty secluded today and not sure if it’s emotional, grief or just the weather. It kinda feels like springtime in the Northern Virginia where I grew up, where it hasn’t quite warmed up yet and it’s just been raining all day.

My intention was to go for a nice walk in nature at a big park close by, but that option was obviously canceled. Just resting.

I did attempt to work on my website which ended up having a critical error on it. I decided that I am done. I can’t do it anymore. I am not a website designer and whenever something like this happens it sets me back. I am told I don’t need a website right now, so I made the decision to move forward with just the focus on my business.

I’m working on some other projects to make me money and that is what I do. I have the choice to surrender everything and I am ready to do it.

My former partner is full of creativity and it took me off my goal game today. I’m good, though, just walking through another feeling, just blah.

And so, I keep moving along this road on my journey and I look forward to whatever this brings to me.