Flight of the Hummingbird - Day 87 – 7-2-2021 - Becoming

 

Is it about becoming or is it about already who I am?

What is it that this lifetime of seeking is about?

Coming from a place of feeling broken,

Moving into a space of expansion.

 

Consciously being aware of what is going on around me,

My insides feel like they are lighting up.

I can see in there now, where mostly there was darkness and fear.

 

Dissociation, the adult version of hiding in a closet or the corner of the room because I didn’t know what else to do.

So scared as a little girl, everyone turning their back to her, at least that is what she felt like.

And that scared little girl was running my life for a long time.

 

Integration… re-parenting myself to get to this point where that little girl is integrating with me,

Instead of running my life from a 10-year-old perspective, she and I now play,

And dream and have fun together and with friends.

 

I find she is so smart and for so long the smartness of her knew how to protect me and my heart,

To the point of complete isolation.

Now she is guiding me into a whole new life; and we work together.

I am thrilled and so is she.

She is amazing and so am I.

 

I know this now.

I am at a fork in the road, and I am getting ready,

Preparing myself for the next chapter in my life, where the unknown is now exciting and I am about to go on an adventure.

Still walking through and surrendering some last vestiges of the things that no longer serve me…

So, I am free to explore my life in a different way than I ever have.

 

I am really excited… as my little girl and as my adult self.

How does it get any better than this?