Flight Chronicles of the Hummingbird - Day 33 – 5-9-2021 - Mother’s Day Grief and Joy

Mother’s Day Grief and Joy

Woah… what a fantastic morning this ended up being.  And that is how grief works…

What started out as me having flashback memories of not spending time with my kids for Mother’s Day for many years and seeing all of the posts of the Mother’s Day greetings and all of the mothers in the Alienation groups I belong to, my day started out with grief.

I was looking at all of the posts and hadn’t heard from either of my kids…yet.

Then a switch flipped.

The first thing that happened was a friend’s daughter, (I was with both of them, when her mother and his ex died this past December) broke down from missing her. I’ve been staying with them this weekend.

We walked through the grief and sadness together, not just about Mother’s Day but it was her birthday too. Once we got through the deep tears, she gave me a handmade card, a pipe cleaner heart and a beautiful necklace she had made for me. I cried again… a lot.

I miss her and her father (my friend) and I miss my children. I have missed my children for 21 years; Mother’s Day makes that more intense for sure. I missed many holidays and birthdays.

This one turned out to be special for me. My daughter texted me and wished me a Happy Mother’s Day first and then an hour or so later my son Face Timed me. I was thrilled! I also got to talk to my stepmother.

If you knew my whole story then it would make more sense why this is such a big deal for me. Not having my children with me for most of that time, walking through my friend’s daughter’s, mother’s cancer and death and experiencing so much grief around all of that and my mother’s two year death anniversary which happened to be the day after.

Breaking up our relationship and having to leave them both for my new life.

All these changes, all of this grief, all of this love, all of these opportunities to see things differently even when there are times that it feels impossible. All of this has been, believe it or not, a blessing for me this weekend.

I am so happy and grateful for all of these shifts and opportunities to see things differently on this beautiful journey of mine. Thank you for being here with me.

Happy Mother’s Day