Flight Chronicles of the Hummingbird - Day 44 – 5-20-2021 - Codependent vs Speaking Your Truth

Codependent vs Speaking Your Truth

Man, I just went through two opportunities where speaking my truth and being honest with someone showed me that it works so much better than being codependent. One was actually someone else’s opportunity but it helped me to see that I needed to speak my truth to them from hearing their story of the same thing.

You see, when I am codependent, I am reverting back to a fear in my past that tells me that if I tell the truth to this person, I will lose them, they won’t love me and on and on; whatever my negative belief is that happens to come up in the moment.

The truth is (and the truth is ALWAYS the best option) there are two things that are happening when you tell someone what needs to be said, even if it might hurt them. And by the way, your truth isn’t the thing that hurts them. They may feel hurt BY your truth, but you didn’t hurt them. This piece is on them and in this way you are not hurting yourself to protect them.

Anyway, one is that you are giving them the opportunity to make an educated decision for themselves and to course correct if they need to. Course correction for them is not your responsibility. This is codependency.

Two is that you won’t feel like crap and get resentful and frustrated by not telling them your truth. That is what will happen in the aftermath of a lie for most people. For some people, they don’t understand the pain that they cause someone when they lie, they feel it helps themselves to feel better, so they are oblivious to it. It’s pretty much like they have no conscience.

If you have ever been a victim and you have felt the need to protect yourself from anything you feel would hurt you, then you know what I’m talking about.

There is only one choice and that is to tell your truth.

For example, if you feel something isn’t working and someone else is not being up front with you or being wishy washy, then YOU get to make a decision and do what is right for you. See how much power you have?

That will absolutely take care of any powerlessness you have felt in your life and it will take care of the issue just like that. It may feel uncomfortable in the process and that is what growth is about. We all have a choice and we all can make decisions.

Sometimes we just don’t because we are scared and that wreaks all kinds of havoc on our lives. The bottom line is that we feel lost or stuck or confused.

Yet, it doesn’t have to be this way.

When something comes up that you need to say to someone that is your truth, make the decision to step into it. Let go of the fear of doing it because I tell you what, if you choose to do that, it will come out best for your highest good and really the highest good of all involved.

Then things will open up for you like you never would have believed.

I speak my truth in this because this is what I am learning.