Flight Chronicles of the Hummingbird - Day 40 – 5-16-2021 - To Be Alone vs Isolation and Victimization

To Be Alone vs Isolation and Victimization

I can honestly say I have no idea what is happening with me or what is going on.

Yesterday I mentioned feeling more peaceful than I have ever felt in my life. Today, I’m doing my normal routine and I just feel different. I no longer feel afraid to be alone because I am never alone. I always have me, and I always have my Source with me. I am feeling that loving energy around me more and more. It really feels good. I also can’t really explain what that feels like.

The other thing I know fully now is that whenever I am feeling lonely, which really isn’t the same as being alone, I have made a conscious choice to go somewhere. Yesterday it was the local farmer’s market and I spent time with my farmer friends. I enjoyed my time so much just sitting there talking and “helping” them sell their farm wares.

I learned yesterday from the farmer’s wife, that they have been together for 53 years. They love each other very much. He is the college graduate with a degree in psychology and she didn’t really pursue anything outside in her life. In our society that is generally looked down upon.  I don’t care about that. She has the compassion and love of someone I have always been grateful to be around. I literally only met them a couple of months ago and have spent maybe four times with them at the farmer’s market.

But I can tell.

I can tell when people are real and raw. I can tell when people are kind. I can tell when people care and are loving and compassionate with everyone they meet. No, not just to sell what they have, but they are genuinely that way.

I gravitate towards that whenever possible and I have recognized that the only way to do that is to get out there and just walk through somewhere, I would say a farmer’s market rather than a shopping mall, and just look at and feel the energy of the people there. Talk to them, say hello, ask questions about what they sell, how long they have been doing it, just be interested in them.

You will find those people who you can connect with and never feel isolated again. Those are the people who won’t hurt you, won’t make you feel less than, won’t make you feel like you aren’t good enough.

Why? Because they care about humanity. And… yes, they are out there. I believe now that the world is full of beauty. Beautiful people at heart, beautiful scenery/nature, beautiful connections. I am extremely grateful I have the opportunity to do this.

You see, three years ago, I was fully isolated and alone. I didn’t want to be with people because the people I had been with made me feel bad about myself with things they said or did. It didn’t matter though, because I already felt bad about myself.

I love connecting to others and I don’t love connecting to people who gaslight, narcisize (is that a word?), or make fun of. That isn’t my thing. I love to connect to people who have that loving, kind and compassionate energy because deep down inside all of us, that is who we are. Most of us just had that “taught” out of us. And some of us became so angry and hurt, we became the narcissist or bully. The rest of us became their victims.

Here is a truth I am going to share with you. We have all be victims of a society of greed, mistrust and fear. We all have been victims of something. The good news is that you can make a choice to stop being a victim.

Yes, I was a victim at one time. Yes, I have been victimized in many situations.  No, I am not longer a victim because I didn’t want to be miserable for the rest of my life. You can stick with your animosity and hold a grudge forever if you want to, all that does is hurt you, mentally, emotional, spiritually, and physically. It does not hurt the person who did those things because I guarantee you from my experience that nine times out of 10, they don’t even remember what they did. So, it doesn’t matter.

You are the one carrying around the grief and the pain, they are not. You want to heal your life and your self and there is only one way to step into that. Make the choice.

Then be willing to do whatever it takes to shift by being courageous and decide to walk through that grief and pain. That is the only way you will break free from being a stuck victim who has been victimized and live your life as you want to.

You get to a place where you choose to be alone when you want to and be with others when you don’t. No more isolation from the fear of being victimized because you are no longer a victim.

YOU get to choose the path you take. Welcome to your truth.