Flight Chronicles of the Hummingbird - Day 45 – 5-21-2021 - This Magic Moment

This Magic Moment

Have you ever been in a situation or event that it felt so surreal as if what was happening was pure magic? I have.

In fact I have been in many such moments. The biggest memory I have is when my daughter was born.

We were in the hospital for a scheduled cesarean because she was breech. Apparently I had had some sort of strep bacteria which is common in the birth canal or cervix. I can’t remember. I just knew it was bad for a regular birth.

The doctors reassured me for myself that this was normal and would go away after and it did, so now my biggest concern was they also told me that if they tried to turn her it would hurt a lot and she could possibly turn back to where she was.

Plus, as an added “bonus” if she was born going through the birth canal, this strep bacterium could cause her blindness. I was so floored by that because, of course, I did not want that to happen, that I chose the cesarean.

Fast forward to the surgery room.

My doctor was crazy in most people’s eyes, but I loved his sense humor. He walked into the room with his plastic face mask, putting on his gloves and when he was in the perfect spot, I saw that he was wearing fisherman’s rubber pants. I wanted to laugh but I was really scared of this surgery. It helped a little, though.

So, once we got past all of the introductions, the anesthesiologist took care of his job. Oddly, when I was laying there as the surgery was going on, something happened where I felt like a gas bubble went up to my left shoulder and caused me a lot of pain. I was trying to focus on the birth of my beautiful girl and that damn pain, the only spot by the way that wasn’t numb, kept distracting me. I did my very best, though.

I could see a little bit of it in the mirror above but not much.

Anyway, once they got her out, they rushed her away to take care of her. I was really sad that there was no initial bonding from the womb. As that was happening, that pain in my shoulder kept getting worse. I just wanted to cry. This was “supposed to” have been a beautiful moment, but I couldn’t feel that.

So, I did end up crying a little because my shoulder hurt so bad. I was trying to hold my own so everyone could see how brave I was. That is what I did back then, especially for my husband at the time.

If I’m not brave, no one would be impressed or love me. Huh?

Fast forward again… so they moved me into another room, and I told the nurse about my shoulder hurting and she said, “Hold on a sec, I know just what will help that to feel better.”

She left the room and came back with my beautiful daughter and laid her in my arms. Then I couldn’t be “brave” anymore. I cried and cried and loved on her so big. She was so incredible to look at and she just stared right back into my eyes. It was my first magic moment with her.

The next day we went home. As we got us in the car, we put the car seat on the seat behind the passenger and I sat next to her.

As I was looking into her eyes and she stared back at me, the song, “This Magic Moment” by the Drifters, came on the radio. I just sat there in stunned silence as the tears welled up in my eyes. I was thinking those words the first time she was laying in my arms, just the day before.

It feels like, right now as I write this, like it was just yesterday.

What's even more crazy is that I just realized that just in May or June of 2020, I had met Ben E King's niece at an Air B&B I was staying at where I actually live now. Holy s...!

Today, I learned that we are more magical than we believe to be. After all, when my daughter was conceived and then born, I had asked for her. I wanted a little girl in our lives and got her.

The long story of life and what happened can come at another point, but right now I just want to talk about the magic that we are.

When we realize how to discreate all of the crap from trauma, situations, relationships, etc. and then realize how big and powerful we really are, we also learn that we are magicians and can make anything happen. There is a way of doing it that we need to understand, but it is definitely possible.

Yesterday, for the first time in a very long time, I created, magically, a free lunch for myself and I was floored there too.

Yet, it helps me to believe more and more every day just how powerful I am, and I am so grateful for these experiences and how they have shaped me on my life’s journey.

What Magic Moment can you share?