Flight Chronicles of the Hummingbird - Day 38 – 5-14-2021 - The Road to Consciousness

The Road to Consciousness

There are probably as many names for this as there are people in the world. Consciousness is not rooted in our daily walk in life, there is so much more to what this is.

I had a very interesting and deep conversation with someone last night who is part of a family of Brahman’s from India. A Brahman is a member of the highest Hindu caste, that of the priesthood. In essence, there are generations of Holy People in Hinduism who are Brahmans. Brahman, a Sanskrit word, is the Ultimate Reality of Universe in Hinduism. Brahman is said to be infinite, with no beginning or end, is changeless and is the source of the universe in Hindu beliefs.

The Road to Consciousness.

There seems to be a similarity here with other religions and thoughts.

I realized this about 17 years ago as I was walking through my “God” path. I was extremely confused about religion and how one group was being told one thing and others, something different. Even within different sects of each religion, things were so different.

I was raised Jewish and the synagogue my family belonged to was traditional, egalitarian, conservative. What that meant to me? Absolutely nothing. I did what I was told to do. I learned Hebrew for about 2-3 years so I could present at my Bat Mitzvah which is a religious initiation ceremony for a Jewish girl aged twelve years and one day, regarded as the age of religious maturity.

I also found out many years later from my grandmother that the only reason we were a part of Judaism was to show the courts that I was being raised with a good background in religion. She finally said to me that she was never really interested in it and my father was never silent about how much he hated it.

But I continued to participate until I had finished my Bat Mitzvah and then I was done. No more.

My grandfather was the only one who was fully involved and loved every part of it. He was a good man, very kind and compassionate to all he met. His job throughout the years at the synagogue was to take care of the religious books. They even named a Prayer Book and Tallit Fund after him. I’m so proud of him, love and miss him so much.

Prior to all of this, I was exposed to many different types of religions from visiting my mother. She was involved with Greek Orthodox, Buddhism, Native American Spirituality, among a few others. This was all in my early childhood, so I met people of many different cultures.

All of this set the stage for my curiosity about people, life, religion, and spirituality.

So anyway, back to the “God” path.

The entire time I was growing up, I was completely bullied by other kids about the fact that I was Jewish. I had no one to turn to and certainly was not really raised with any sort of relationship with God or a Higher Power. My God was G-d. For me, personally, the dash created a complete disconnect between Him and me.

My salvation from the disruptive and trauma filled childhood I went through turned to Nature. I spent all of my spare time alone by the creek near my house or riding my bike to a lake almost 5 miles away. I did this starting around age 12 or 13. I had mentioned in another writing that I used my closet to hide from the world; when I was old enough, my bicycle and nature became my refuge.

I completely let go of religion until I met my children’s father. He was raised Independent Baptist. That is where my search began.

He taught me all about Jesus as we were dating and at the beginning of our marriage. While I was at Basic Training, after joining the Army, I attended a few different churches to see how I could connect and was learning all about life per the bible. (I learned years later, again from Judaism, that there are many layers to the bible and can not be taken at face value.)

I am writing this from my own experiences, so I am not intentionally discrediting anyone’s beliefs. My experiences, at the time, put a difficult taste in my mouth about life and it really confused me, so I am sharing what happened in my search for God. If this offends, I apologize, however, this was my path, and I am only sharing what happened and how it felt to me.

There was a trip to Texas we took where he convinced me to be Baptized at his family’s church. At the time, I was very much involved in that journey I was on to God. But then I found out the hard way in the same trip and same church what I had gotten myself into and it wasn’t God’s Love or Connection.

What started out being a good sermon turned into a bashing and demeaning ceremony of other people and other religions. I was floored. The preacher literally started yelling at us and telling us that we were bad people (heathens) and going to go to hell if we didn’t take Jesus into our hearts and believe only in him. I started to cry.

I thought about my grandfather and as I explained above what a wonderful, kind, compassionate and endearing person he was. I thought about the fact that he would do anything for anyone and cared for all he encountered. There is no way that this man would be going to hell.

And then I got hell, fire and brimstone angry at the preacher and what he was saying.

I didn’t understand how someone could make people feel terrible and in the same sentence talk about how other people were terrible if they didn’t believe in Jesus. My dear sweet grandfather, the Jewish man, who did not believe in Jesus but treated people fairly and kindly, would be going to hell and this man yelling at me and causing me to feel not good enough had his seat in heaven?

Now wait just a moment…

There is some information I am going to throw in here at this point. Information I found out years later that did not fit this description.

1.       God is Love, God doesn’t discriminate, God is there to support us so why am I being told that he is angry and spiteful? I went from not feeling a connection to G-d at all to being confused that He would be such a being. How could you fear and love our Source at the same time? The two are like oil and water; they don’t mix.

2.       Jesus meditated; he was connected with the Buddha. There are many volumes of the bible that were not included, I found out, that had information in there about things that the common people weren’t supposed to know about. What?

3.       Jesus had women in his life; not just the Virgin Mary, his mother. Women were integral part of life back then, even though the bible does not fully put that into perspective. Now I can’t speak directly from the bible or preach any of this, because that is what didn’t sit right with me. As a woman, I saw that there is not just a societal equality but a human equality that exists that was taken away by male rulers and leaders over centuries who feared the “powers” women have. (That is a whole ‘nother article, but I needed to bring that up.)

4.       Jesus was Jewish…another questioning moment. So when I was visiting with my ex’s family, they kept telling me I was “chosen” twice. That couldn’t have been more confusing for me because with the research I had done after I heard this and found out his own people turned on him, I had quite the animosity for all religion and dogma.

That was when I started my own personal spiritual journey and connection with Source as I see Him/Her.

Again, I do not mean to put any of this down. There is a bigger picture that we have not been privy to and the privy is that in my understanding of all of this, Jesus was a man who had a Christ Consciousness. He talks about connecting with that consciousness.

I have found that consciousness is realized when we are able to release to negative energies that we accumulated throughout our lives. These energies turn into physical, emotional, mental and spiritual illnesses.

Once we are aware of these energies and release them, we become the channel through which whatever we call the Source can come through. The Divine Chalice.

I believe our job here is to heal and raise our own vibration and level of consciousness, not to convince others to do it our way. Each of us has our own journey in how we do this and by healing and being the light for others, we attract them and shine this light for them to finding their path to travel.

That to me is Love.

I think the biggest thing I am trying to portray here is curiosity. When you do your inner work, you find that there are other things going on than what we’ve been told are the way it should be. I say just continue to open your mind, question everything, know what desires come from your mind for you and connect to your heart, which is actually desireless. The heart is about feeling and knowing, not longing and needing.

I know this was a bit controversial, so I look forward to any comments. I am open to learning myself. Thank you!