Flight Chronicles of the Hummingbird - Day 42 – 5-18-2021 - Connection with Self

Connection with Self

I am learning to connect with myself on a deeper level more and more every day. The thing is that the ways that it is happening is not something a lot would understand or be open to. In fact, it would be downright insane to “them.”

You see, I have been one of “them” and it doesn’t make me a bad person, it just means that I didn’t know. Now I am beginning to see the ways in which my body, my energy, my spirit, my mind, my emotions and my life are changing. I also see how they really work with each other.

We are not machines. We have a physical body, an emotional body, a mental body and a spiritual body. They all work together. When one is out of whack, it throws the whole system out of kilter or equilibrium.

And…it is fantastic…and a little unbelievable because I realized I am humanoidal in this moment. I learned the difference of that and being human and I am ok with that. A human, lives their life in the world and is fine with the day-to-day stuff. There is nothing wrong with that, it is part of the Earth’s balance. A humanoid is a seeker, dreamer, visionary. I can now admit that is who I am. And we need people like us.

The crazy thing that I have thought of on more than one occasion is that I really believe that the humanoids are the ones who become the most depressed, anxious, addicted people on this Earth because we are wired in a certain way and don’t understand how to live like the rest of the world. That causes confusion and unease within our systems (mental, emotional, physical and spiritual) and unless we have someone in our lives to guide us who knows how to maneuver this, we have no idea what to do but to self-medicate, self-harm, get depressed, etc.

Those of us who don’t feel a part of the rest of the world, I have one thing to say. It’s ok. It’s even better than okay. Just because we don’t fit it doesn’t mean we were ever supposed to. You are an expansive person who has been kept or kept yourself inside a box.

If you are here reading this then I will tell you it is time to come out and display the beauty of you that you have possessed all along. You have just been around people who can’t see that beauty in you because they can’t see it in themselves.

I do not fit in with the rest of the world and I never have. I have known my bigness for a long time yet refused to admit to it because I didn’t want to be bigger than anyone else.

So, I locked myself in a box that I thought I wanted to be in and got stuck. Actually, someone said to me one time that I was a “butterfly in a fishbowl.” That stuck and it stuck hard. I was only “allowed” to fly around within the confines of the bowl and the scary thing was that I could see outside the bowl and there was an opening that I somehow could not get out of.

Within weeks of hearing that I had purchased an Oprah magazine and lo and behold, found a picture of a butterfly with shattered glass around it and cut it out. I put it on my vision board at the time and scanned it into my computer. I had to reuse that in whatever way I could. Thank you Oprah!

I actually used that as the picture for the blog input on May 16^th!

Which leads me to today. I will probably have a hard time explaining it because I am still not sure how this works (does it really matter? Oh that’s a big one for me) but there are shifts happening inside and outside of me that are changing my entire existence.

I am literally aware of living outside of my box now. Sure, I told the story of what my daughter said, and it shocked me, and I have held that for years. Today, I am seeing that I am actually living that.

I am a really cool being. I have a beautiful heart and I really care about others. Even the ones that hurt me and other people because I have learned to recognize that their behavior is to protect that little boy or girl inside of them that was so wounded themselves. It doesn’t excuse the behavior in any way, it does teach me to be more compassionate for myself and others.

I feel more and more at peace ever day and this part of my journey is more intriguing, fun and exciting than any other part of my path. I am definitely going off in a direction I never expected or thought of and I am so excited. More to come, so stay tuned!