Flight Chronicles of the Hummingbird - Day 63 – 6-8-2021 - Going Through More Changes

 

I had a really hard time this morning leaving from my visit with my former partner and his daughter.

I went right into grief mode fast this morning because this was a big move for me today. I got the last of my things out of the house we lived in together for almost two years.

The tears just came rushing up. I was going through a lot. Learning another angle of co-dependence and how people view me. Wanting to be sure other people are happy to the detriment of me. All kinds of things were coming up for me all at the same time besides leaving that beautiful place I called my home for so long.

All that was coming up was so overwhelmingly sad for me.

I’ve left many places many times in my life and many people and for some reason this sadness that came up for me just overtook my body and soul. I flashbacked to all of the places and people I had left throughout my life and this was like a culmination of my life. So many memories all welled up into the tears in my eyes that overflowed like a waterfall.

It felt was like being in the ocean as a wave comes up and over and what I did really well was to go with the flow of the waves. I couldn’t do anything else. I just sat there and watched it happen and cried and cried.

I knew it was time to go and I knew that I would be ok and I just needed to let this happen. So important for me to do this for myself today as I am shifting again in my life. I can’t go into what that looks like, I can say that it is a big shift. One that I have been afraid to take throughout my life.

And here I stand, at the threshold of the open door, ready to walk through into the unknown. I am good. I am ok. I can do this, I can handle it. Whatever this is.

I feel more and more at peace and more and more powerful every day. Every time I overcome an old belief, every time I allow the feelings to just flow through me. I literally feel my body and energy change. I can’t explain it in words. It just is what it is.

Thank you for coming with me on this journey. It’s not always easy to share what is happening, I can say that it is so helpful to share.