Flight Chronicles of the Hummingbird - Day 62 – 6-7-2021 - Grief IS Love

 

This may absolutely sound 100% counter intuitive, and I agree.

I figured out something this morning that rocked my world.

For many years, I, for one, feared grieving because I really didn’t understand what it was for, how to do it and most of the people I knew didn’t know how to support me in it. That is ok.

I am back at the house where I was living with my former partner. We have been talking about a lot of things and a lot has been coming up again for both of us, but this time in quite a different way.

I was listening to my morning Ha’oponopono meditation, and I just started to weep. I knew why it was happening, so I just allowed it to come forth.

This is almost the last time I will be down here probably for a long time. So, this morning I grieved all of it: the relationship with him and his daughter, the music, the house we lived in, the growth we have had together and separately, everything I have been through since I moved to Florida almost 7 years ago.

It has been a long road of plenty of ups and downs and when I was going through it this morning, I was feeling sad and happy at the same time. So much growth here, I can’t even describe it.

You see, I have spent a while in South Florida with all kinds of connections and losses; ending the relationship I came down here with, finding the music in my soul, starting another relationship, ending it and finally really starting a relationship with me.

It felt as we were talking this morning that everything was beginning to integrate and heal for me. The sadness was dissipating more and more and the happy “looking forward” feeling was taking over. Just observing the present moment.

As I was doing that, an important knowing came to me that I am going to share. “You’re not lost, just pay attention. Don’t lose sight of the present moment.” That is where the healing is, even through the grief. That is also where the love is. When one door closes, another one opens.

I saw myself as love as I was going through the grief. It was absolutely a strange feeling AND it really felt good and recognizable. Believe it or not, grief is not here to hurt us, it IS here to heal us and that is what happened on this beautiful new day, on this morning in South Florida.

I want to say that fully connecting with the feelings brought me a feeling of peace. Real peace, not a fleeting peace that I have found in the past.

Stuff is going to happen in life; tragedies, losses, deaths and on and on. Being able to walk through this knowing that I will be ok is so prominent for me now.

As I am walking through it, so can you. You’ve got what it takes. Just like me. Thank you for following my journey.