Flight Chronicles of the Hummingbird - Day 70 – 6-15-2021 - Trauma – Confusion – Fear

 

As I go through this time of cocoon-ment, I find more and more how the conditioning from the past generations and my childhood have affected me with myself and with others. It’s a lot to take in and a lot to admit that sub-consciously, for me, the habits, beliefs and behaviors that all of this has created for me in my life are my responsibility.

“But I’m not the one who made me this way! My mother and father did this! My grandmother! My ancestors! It’s their fault!”

“No sweetie…it wasn’t their fault either. Somewhere along the line this was input into our DNA and now all generations suffer the same as the initial ones did. Each family is different, yet we all suffer.”

This is where forgiveness comes in for ourselves and others.

The interesting thing with this is that none of this is anyone’s fault, yet as adults and humans, it is our responsibility to take a look and shift it.

 

I have a story to tell here that shows how everything passes through the generations:

There was this little girl who was hanging out with her mother in the kitchen at Christmas. Her mom was making a ham and getting ready to put it in the oven. As she was preparing it, she cut both ends off and placed the ham in the baking dish. The little girl watched intently and finally asked her mother, “Why did you cut the ends off the ham, mommy?”

Her mother stopped for a moment to think about that and replied, “I have no idea. Why don’t you go ask your grandmother in the other room?”

The little girl was excited at the prospect of finding out the answer and skipped into the living room where her grandmother was sitting. As she was looking around this room, she noticed her great-grandmother was there too, sitting in her favorite chair. She looked over at her and smiled and got a huge smile back.

She moved towards her grandmother and asked her the same question she had asked her mother, “Why is mommy cutting the ends off the ham?”

She noticed her grandmother’s face get very serious for a moment as she thought about how to answer her granddaughter’s question. She finally looked up and said, “You know, I really don’t know why. I have done it my entire life and never asked. Why don’t you go over to your great-grandmother and ask her, I bet she would know the answer,” she said as she smiled and winked at the little girl and gave her a love tap on her behind.

The little girl looked at her grandmother and smiled and then proceeded to walk over to her great-grandmother. By the time she got over there, her great-grandmother was waiting for her. The little girl said, “Great-Grandma, why is mommy cutting the ends off the ham?”

Her great-grandmother thought for just a moment and replied immediately. “Oh, sweetheart, such a good question. You see when I was little, my mother used to make ham. Back then the pans were very small, and the ham was too big to fit, so she would cut the ends off the ham, so they would fit in the pan.”

The little girl looked at her great grandma, gave her a big hug and said, “Thank you!” She then got up and went back into the kitchen to tell her mother.

Many years later, when the little girl grew up, she was in the kitchen one day making Christmas dinner and as she was preparing the ham, she cut off the ends and placed them in the baking dish, which, by the way, had plenty of room for the ham. She looked at it and smiled to herself before placing the ham in the oven.

So herein lies what gets handed down from generation to generation. Whether we continue to behave or do things subconsciously or we move forward consciously in the behaviors is really a choice. Just like the little girl, she found out the answer to why and still decided to continue doing it, where at this point it was a choice.

 

And, so, what can be done about that? Are we doomed to habits, behaviors and beliefs getting worse and worse as each as we go forward into each generation? I mean, sometimes it looks like we have no options, so we are pretty much screwed. Right?

The odd thing is that, no, we aren’t. We can change all of this. It is a slow and painful job AND what I do to make sure I don’t totally lose it while it’s happening is, although I know I am doing this for myself (as self-love), I also know that I am doing this work for both past generations and future generations. The buck stops here.

The more I heal, the more each generation heals. No, I don’t know or understand how that works. I have seen it work for me and my children; it is a slow process, but it does work. It is quite an interesting thing.

I do also believe that the more people who do this work, the quicker the process will become. The thing is that as a collective, we need this to happen before our locked-up feelings ends up destroying the earth. It really is my (our) responsibility to heal and connect with others in finding our inner truth, healing and loving ourselves and others.

The not knowing about all of this will cause confusion. In any story, in any situation. If no one tells us the truth, which in most cases doesn’t happen, we are doomed to repeat the story, the habit, the belief, the behavior. But are we really?

In the process of all of this, fear continues to creep into our lives because that is all we know and we aren’t sure how to get on the other side of that because generationally, no one knew how to do that either. We live in fear and don’t know why.

I believe now, that once the decision is made to shift all of that, life will change. I am doing that now; it can be done.

On May 6, 1954, Roger Bannister broke the 4-minute barrier, running a mile in 3:59.4 seconds. This had not happened prior to this date. Since that time, more than 1,400 athletes have broken that record and it is now the standard of professional middle distance runners in many cultures.

The moral of this story is that when we put our minds to something and make the decision to do it, we do it. Then once that happens, it opens the door for others to try.

That is how we heal ourselves, each other and the earth.

That is why I always say, “If I can do it, so can you.”

It is time now to break the habit, belief, behavior barrier and live your life fully. Welcome to the journey!