Flight Chronicles of the Hummingbird - Day 59 – 6-4-2021 - Why Is Self-Love So Important?

 There are three things that have stopped me from understanding what self-love is for most of my life:

1.       1. Not witnessing or experiencing true unconditional love from another.

2.        2. Not witnessing or experiencing true unconditional love from parents or caregivers of each other.

3.           3. Not witnessing or experiencing true unconditional love from another for themselves.

Starting out, I never bonded with my mother. She had so much trauma in her life, coming from being a 2^nd Generation Holocaust Survivor, along with her relationship with her mother, she had no idea how to love herself, let alone love me.

Her family was estranged from her father’s family and when WWII began, they left the family and moved to Israel in 1938 to escape Czechoslovakia.

My father was born with an illness and was in the hospital for about a month and from my understanding of how that went, really didn’t bond with my grandmother.

I grew up with my grandmother. Her story is that she and her siblings had their fair share of trauma. From what I have learned, she was beaten by a stepfather and made to sit at a separate table with her sister and brother from the step-father and their mother and other the kids. Her much younger sister endured a lot of pain from this man as well.

And going back many generations before that as well from heartache, heartbreak, survival, death. This family came from the Eastern Block of Europe where, as Jews, were always walking through some sort of trauma for my father’s side and plenty more on my mother’s side.

So, you can see that life was mostly about survival. My family never learned how to love because they were hated just for being who they were. I have letters from another part of the family describing just how bad everything was over there during WWII; it is definitely heartbreaking.

I also never witnessed or experienced love between my parents. I was always, as a child, put to the side for their issues with each other. That is not how love works.

What is the result of understanding self-love when generationally no one had a clue what that was and dealt with life in survival mode?

I had to do that too and it runs deeper than that because it moved into the generations after me, my own children.

That in itself was what pushed me into healing, into learning self-love for myself and for my children. What I came to find out is that my healing not only helps me, but it also helps my future generations AND the past generations energetically. I won’t go into how that works, that can be a research project for you if you are interested.

For now, let’s say this. We live life in the past and not just our past, our family’s past as well. Where there is heartbreak and heartache, you will find no self-love. Just those words tell me how much my family had always been in pain.

How do you pass down self-love into future generations when you never knew it yourself? You can’t.

This is something that needs to be a conscious effort and decision to heal ourselves so our children don’t have to suffer “the sins of their fathers” and hope that they will heal and continue the self-love process on their own.

My legacy is breaking the cycle of the heartbreak and heartache and learning to love myself is the process.

Love to you all.